Day 36 of 100 Days of Hope
Sorting the Two Files: A Simple Way to Find Peace and Clarity
If the world feels heavy and filled with negative thoughts, you’re not alone.
Many of us in midlife feel the weight of responsibilities, shifting roles, and uncertainty about the future.
But there’s a simple, powerful practice that can bring peace back into your heart — something taught by Gay and Katie Hendricks called “Sorting the Two Files.”
This small act of self-care helps you release anxiety, reclaim focus, and restore your self-love by reminding you what’s truly within your control.
✍️ How to Sort the Two Files
Grab a piece of paper and draw a line down the center.
At the top of one side, write “What I Can Control.”
On the other side, write “What I Can’t Control.”
Now, brain dump everything that’s been circling in your mind.
Write down your worries, fears, frustrations — and sort each one into its place.
This simple act helps you shift from chaos to calm by bringing clarity and focus.
✅ What I Can Control
My actions
How I spend my time
What I choose to focus on
What I choose to eat
Who I spend time with
What I wear
Where I go
How I act
How I let others’ actions affect me
Setting boundaries so I feel safe
Kindly saying “no” when it’s best for me
How I spend my money
🚫 What I Can’t Control
What other people say or do
Traffic
What’s on social media
Others trying to make me responsible for their actions
Rules or expectations others set
The law
Politics
How others act
💡 Why This Matters
Any stress or worry you carry can go on one side or the other.
You can take action on what you can control, and release what you can’t.
Focusing on what’s within your power is one of the most freeing acts of self-care you can give yourself.
You can:
Say no to things that don’t honor you.
Choose to be in places that fill your soul.
Surround yourself with people who bring you joy.
You have more choices than you may realize — and this is the foundation of resilience and emotional well-being.
🌿 The Question That Brings Peace
The real question becomes:
“What is my responsibility, and what is not?”
So often, we take on what belongs to others — their emotions, reactions, expectations.
We try to control outcomes that aren’t ours to manage.
True inner peace comes when we take responsibility for ourselves first,
set healthy boundaries, and let go of trying to manage what’s outside our power.
Be the best version of you.
Lead with kindness.
Hold boundaries that protect your joy and peace.
🌄 A Personal Reflection
I remember during COVID feeling like the world was completely out of control.
But as soon as I went for a hike and stepped into nature, everything shifted.
The birds still chirped.
The stream still ran.
The wind still rustled the leaves.
And I could finally breathe again.
I realized that peace still exists — that I could reconnect with what mattered most.
Sorting my files reminded me that I could let go of what I couldn’t control
and focus on what I could: my actions, my mindset, and my connection to God.
That was enough. And it still is.
💛 Try It Today
Take a few minutes today to sort your own files:
What will you write under “Can Control”?
What will you write under “Can’t Control”?
Look at your list.
Then focus on what’s within your power — because that’s where you’ll find peace, joy, and hope.
🌸 Final Thoughts
This simple practice is one of the most effective tools I’ve found for restoring calm and clarity in midlife.
It’s a reminder that peace begins within you — not in what happens around you.
When you focus on your choices, your energy, and your inner truth,
you become a woman who shines with strength, resilience, and hope.
Much love, my friend.
You’ve got this. 💛
Julie Burningham
The Hope Coach