Day 43 of 100 Days of Hope
Finding Peace in Not Taking Things Personally
Have you ever felt hurt by something someone said — only to realize later it probably wasn’t even about you?
That’s the heart of today’s message: not taking things personally.
When I first read this idea in Don Miguel Ruiz’s book The Four Agreements, it surprised me.
I thought, How could I not take something personally when it feels so personal?
But as I sat with it, something inside me softened. I found more calm, more peace, and more hope.
A quote that changed my perspective
“Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally.
Nothing other people do is because of you.
It is because of themselves.”
— Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
This one truth holds so much freedom.
When we take things personally, we absorb someone else’s story as if it belongs to us.
When we don’t, we stay rooted in who we are — peaceful, open, and grounded.
What it means to not take things personally
Not taking things personally means understanding that people act and speak through the lens of their own experiences, fears, and beliefs.
Their reactions are about their world, not your worth.
When you practice this, you begin to realize:
You don’t have to manage someone else’s emotions.
You don’t have to fix their feelings or defend yourself.
You can step out of the drama and back into your calm.
You allow others the space to be themselves — and you give yourself the same grace.
What changes when you practice it
The moment I stopped taking things so personally, I noticed I had more choice.
I could decide how to respond instead of reacting from hurt.
I could get curious rather than defensive.
Sometimes I simply say:
“Tell me more.”
or
“That’s an interesting way to see it.”
No drama. No offense. Just curiosity and connection.
And that’s where real relationships begin to deepen — in the space where both people feel safe to be themselves.
Reflection for you
What could you let go of today?
What have you worried over that maybe you don’t need to carry?
How could your life feel lighter if you didn’t take things so personally?
This practice has changed how I show up in my relationships and in my heart.
It’s helped me stay centered, peaceful, and grounded in love.
When we stop making others’ stories our own, we make more room for compassion — and that feels like freedom.
If you’d like to go deeper, I’ve created a short video on this very topic.
I think you’ll enjoy it. 🌼
With love and hope,
Julie Burningham
The Hope Coach ✨