Day 56 of 100 Days of Hope
Don’t Make Assumptions: How Curiosity Creates Peace and Connection
We’ve all been there.
You notice someone seems distant, and your mind starts spinning.
“Did I do something wrong?” “Are they upset with me?”
Hours or days later, you find out it had nothing to do with you — and you realize how much energy you wasted on something that wasn’t even true.
That’s why I love Don Miguel Ruiz’s wisdom from The Four Agreements. He writes:
“Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.”
Ruiz’s words are a powerful reminder: assumptions create suffering.
The Trap of Assumptions
When we assume, we start believing stories that may not be true.
We make meaning out of things we think we see — a look, a text, a tone — and our minds fill in the blanks with fear and worry.
But assumptions are not facts.
They are simply interpretations our brains create to feel safe.
When we believe those stories without checking them, we fall into unnecessary hurt, frustration, or even resentment.
I’ve learned that when I’m in a negative or fearful state of mind, my assumptions tend to be negative too. I imagine the worst, and it colors everything.
The Power of Curiosity
The antidote? Curiosity.
When you feel yourself assuming, pause and ask:
“Do I know this for sure?”
“What’s another possibility?”
“Can I ask instead of assume?”
When we choose curiosity, we open the door for truth and understanding.
We replace fear with connection.
And we start seeing others not as enemies or mysteries to figure out — but as allies, friends, and fellow humans doing their best.
Stick to the FACTS
If it’s something you can see, hear, touch, or taste, then it’s a fact.
If not — it’s a story you’ve created.
Ask questions. Clarify. Get curious.
You’ll notice how much lighter you feel when you stop trying to read minds and start communicating directly.
Imagine a World Without Assumptions
If we all stopped assuming and started asking…
✨ We’d sleep better at night.
✨ We’d carry fewer burdens.
✨ We’d love others more deeply.
✨ We’d see the world in a brighter, kinder way.
That’s the kind of world I want to live in — one filled with curiosity, compassion, and truth.
A world where we assume the best in others.
A world where misunderstanding gives way to understanding.
Let’s create that world together, one honest question at a time.
Here is a short video where I share more.
With hope and love,
Julie Burningham
The Hope Coach 🌞