Day 17 of 100 Days of Hope
The Power of Appreciation in Building Lasting Love
Yesterday, I received a text from my husband that said:
“Good morning, sweetheart! Just thinking about you. I hope you’re doing well today. I’m grateful for you and our family. I’m a lucky man! Love you!!”
Isn’t that the sweetest? That one simple message made my entire day. I felt seen, valued, and cherished. Later that evening, when I made dinner, I received more words of gratitude, and it reminded me that what I do matters. Even more than that, it gave me a sense of joy and lightness inside. In turn, I found myself sharing more appreciation back to him—it created a flow of connection.
This is what Gay and Katie Hendricks describe so well in their relationship work: appreciation is one of the central pillars of a thriving, long-lasting relationship.
Why Appreciation Matters So Deeply
According to the Hendricks, appreciation is not just a nice gesture; it’s an essential building block of love that lasts. Many relationships fail because partners get caught in cycles of blame, criticism, or indifference. Appreciation interrupts those patterns. It shifts the focus from what’s wrong to what’s working, from judgment to gratitude, from separation to connection.
Appreciation is powerful because it does two things at once:
It uplifts the receiver, helping them feel valued, seen, and loved.
It uplifts the giver, creating a surge of positive energy and joy within themselves.
The Hendricks often say that appreciation is like oxygen for relationships—it keeps love alive and flowing. Without it, relationships can suffocate under the weight of negativity or neglect.
The Double Gift of Appreciation
When you give appreciation, you’re not just “being nice.” You’re actively strengthening the bond you share. You’re saying: “I notice you. I see the goodness in you. I value what you bring into my life.” Those words create trust, safety, and openness.
And here’s the beautiful part: when you appreciate someone else, you also raise your own energy. You feel lighter, happier, and more connected. It’s one of the few gifts that doubles instantly—the moment you give it, you also receive.
Appreciation as a Gateway
The Hendricks teach that appreciation lowers barriers and softens defenses. It helps you see your partner—or anyone in your life—not as an opponent, but as an ally. When you operate as allies on the same team, working toward shared goals, trust and love deepen. This sense of teamwork is what builds confidence in each other and sustains connection through life’s challenges.
Think about it: when was the last time you felt truly appreciated? Didn’t it open your heart, make you feel safe, and inspire you to give even more? That is the ripple effect of appreciation.
My Gratitude in Action
I often call my husband Mr. Awesome—and it’s not just a nickname. I’m grateful for the way he shows up for our family, for his role as a protector and provider, and for the way we face challenges together. His appreciation reminds me that I am not alone in carrying life’s responsibilities. I am supported, cherished, and valued. And in turn, I love sharing that same appreciation with him.
Bringing This Into Your Life
Now I want to ask you: Who could use your words of appreciation today?
Maybe it’s your partner who quietly carries the weight of daily responsibilities. Maybe it’s a child who longs to be noticed for their effort. Maybe it’s a friend who always shows up but rarely gets acknowledged. Or maybe it’s yourself—because self-appreciation is just as powerful.
The Hendricks encourage couples (and individuals) to make appreciation a daily practice, not a rare event. Try this: each day, share one specific thing you genuinely appreciate about your partner or someone close to you. Keep it simple and sincere. Over time, you’ll see how this small practice creates a foundation of love, safety, and joy that lasts.
A Hope for You
My hope is that you’ll discover just how transformative appreciation can be. When you choose to notice the good and express gratitude, you’re not only strengthening your relationships—you’re also nurturing your own heart.
So pause today. Look around. Who in your life could be lifted by your words? And how might you feel if you spoke them out loud?
Because appreciation doesn’t just build love. It sustains it.
Here is a video about appreciation.
With love and hope,
Julie Burningham
The Hope Coach